Sunday, April 29, 2007

Anatomy of (Another) Coerced Surrender

If you get a chance, take a look at this story on the BEBA site. It is true, and it is recent, and the adoption agency it speaks of is one of the largest faith-based agencies in the country. And what is shocking is that this blatant coercion is still happening. There has to be something that can be done about it. If adopters can sue agencies for "emotional distress" if a mother decides to keep her child, you would think that the emotional damage they inflict upon natural mothers would be grounds for a suit as well!

"Anatomy Of A Coerced Surrender"
by Pamela Jordan


After finding out that I was pregnant, and realizing that I could not go through with an abortion, I called the first number listed under the "abortion alternatives/crisis pregnancy" section of The Yellow Pages. The ad promised counseling and help.

I dialed the number and a volunteer answered. She listened quietly to my story and asked me to come in and talk to a counselor as soon as possible.

On February 25, 1999, I met with a counselor who immediately asked if I had considered adoption. Stunned, I said, "No." She proceeded to recite rates of poverty among single moms, child neglect cases, resentment toward the child for "messing up" the mothers life, etc.

She then told me about the "beautiful, win-win" option of adoption. A well-off couple of my choosing would adopt my baby in a nice, sweet open adoption facilitated by the agency.

I would have the chance to live my life free of the burdens of single motherhood and my child would love me more because he/she would have every thing and every opportunity to succeed in life. Plus, he or she would have the added benefit of being raised by a "loving, married, Christian couple."

It sounded great. I fell hook, line and sinker.

On our next meeting, she took me to the local State Department of Social Services to get me on Medicaid. (And I always thought the agencies and adoptive parents footed the bill for medical expenses. Who knew that it was really the tax payers?)

I didn't want my family to know, as they'd kill Wil, my boyfriend, and go broke trying to help me raise my child, and the agency encouraged me to "make my decisions" away from Wil or anyone else who could "influence" it.

So, on April 12, 1999, I moved in with an agency "Shepherding Family" five-hours away from my home. ....

Continued here ....